Mind Matterz

Are We Using People Like 'Apps'?

  • Ms.Shraddha Sankulkar
  • 30-Apr-2018

The evolution of technology certainly is a boon to the human race. Human work efficiency has reached a new height as our 'touch screen' devices execute more tasks in less time.

But are we investing the saved time qualitatively? When a friend or a close personal contact frequently says 'I don't have time to catch up', one wonders about where is the 'saved time' being used? Of course, each one has to decide what one should do with the saved time, but when it comes to connecting with people I am noticing a typical trend. Just like we conveniently use a digital app and close it when we are done with our objective, are we 'using' our friends & close personal contacts like 'Digital Apps?', once we are done with getting the best out of them? I wonder where is the 'conscious effort' of building and maintaining the relationship? Because of its inanimate nature, it doesn't matter to digital apps to be opened and closed as per our convenience, but when we are dealing with people one must realize that they are emotional beings.

If you notice, the purest form of communication people receive on their phone or in their inboxes is on their birthday. Generally, most of the birthday messages are goodwill messages which are sent with 'conscious effort' to the receiver. The warmth sent by the sender is felt by the receiver, which makes the relationship bond stronger.

On the other side, I am sure we all must have experienced this situation when we see our phone ringing with a name of a personal contact calling after a long time. We immediately predict, 'I am sure he/she must be wanting something from me!" This you feel because, in the interim, you didn't get a genuine 'Hi' or 'How are things going with you'? or 'Hope all is well at your end?' kind of message, or a phone call which is a part of genuine personal relationship management exercise. Such self-less 'greetings', or 'well being based messages' and 'genuine care-related communication' establishes trust in the person who is on the receiving end, giving the receiver confidence and a warm assurance conveying 'I am there for you'. The more reciprocal and mutual the 'conscious effort' is the better for the relationship. Such 'conscious efforts' if by-passed and if one only accesses people when in need, then that person may be tagged as an 'opportunist'.

If people are OK with being 'used' like just a digital app, then there is a business relationship going on 'under the cover of 'being friends'. But if one genuinely considers someone to be a friend or 'special one' then 'conscious efforts' to maintain the relationship to generate positive emotions is an obviously expected fundamental effort towards restoring the quality of the relationship.

It is obvious that, based on one's priority & maturity one will use one's 'saved time' (due to technological advances), but if one is not consciously investing in developing and maintaining genuine relationships then one can't expect quality people in one's life. Even the Software of the Digital Apps that we use, needs timely upgrade and maintenance for it to function qualitatively. Same applies to quality personal relationship management!

Best wishes to all to manage healthy relationships.


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